- Who
- Instead of "that" when referring to people
- Recognize that people may be doing the best they can
- Avoid "non-compliant"
- Missed or unable to make their appointment
- Avoid "no show"
- Ask people what words they use such as pronouns, then use and respect them
- Avoid labels, judgment, presumptions, and jargon
- "I believe you" or "It's not your fault"
- vs "That's so awful", "I can't believe it"; sometimes attempts at empathy come across as disbelief or pity
- "What happened to you wasn't your fault"
- vs "You don't have to do that anymore"
- "What you're feeling is valid and you have the right to express your feelings."
- vs "I feel sorry for you"
- "You are not alone"
- vs "You poor thing. Are you okay?"
- "We will do everything we can to help keep you safe"
- vs "You are safe now." Do not promise what you cannot deliver and remember that everyone's ideas of what feels safe is different.
- "We want to help you and will do our best to meet your needs"
- vs "We can fix this"
- "Trust my actions, not my words" (follow through)
- vs "Trust me" - survivors and those who have experienced trauma may have been lied to many times and trusting can be difficult; be transparent about expectations and your capacity
- "How are you feeling?" or "What led you to do that?"
- vs "What's wrong with you?" or "What did you do that for?" which imply fault and blame
- "You can choose to do this" or "You might want to try that"
- vs "You have to do this" or "You should do that" (You want to allow space for empowerment, voice, and choice)
- "I hear you" or "I'm here to listen"
- vs "I know how you feel" or "I understand what you went through"
- "You experienced trauma" or "You're healing from trauma"
- vs "You're a victim" or "You're a survivor" unless they choose the victim or survivor term themselves
Trauma Toolbox