• Who
    • Instead of "that" when referring to people
  • Recognize that people may be doing the best they can
    • Avoid "non-compliant"
  • Missed or unable to make their appointment
    • Avoid "no show"
  • Ask people what words they use such as pronouns, then use and respect them
    • Avoid labels, judgment, presumptions, and jargon
  • "I believe you" or "It's not your fault"
    • vs "That's so awful", "I can't believe it"; sometimes attempts at empathy come across as disbelief or pity
  • "What happened to you wasn't your fault"
    • vs "You don't have to do that anymore"
  • "What you're feeling is valid and you have the right to express your feelings."
    • vs "I feel sorry for you"
  • "You are not alone"
    • vs "You poor thing. Are you okay?"
  • "We will do everything we can to help keep you safe"
    • vs "You are safe now." Do not promise what you cannot deliver and remember that everyone's ideas of what feels safe is different.
  • "We want to help you and will do our best to meet your needs"
    • vs "We can fix this"
  • "Trust my actions, not my words" (follow through)
    • vs "Trust me" - survivors and those who have experienced trauma may have been lied to many times and trusting can be difficult; be transparent about expectations and your capacity
  • "How are you feeling?" or "What led you to do that?"
    • vs "What's wrong with you?" or "What did you do that for?" which imply fault and blame
  • "You can choose to do this" or "You might want to try that"
    • vs "You have to do this" or "You should do that" (You want to allow space for empowerment, voice, and choice)
  • "I hear you" or "I'm here to listen"
    • vs "I know how you feel" or "I understand what you went through"
  • "You experienced trauma" or "You're healing from trauma"
    • vs "You're a victim" or "You're a survivor" unless they choose the victim or survivor term themselves