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of the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania

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    • Who
      • Instead of "that" when referring to people
    • Recognize that people may be doing the best they can
      • Avoid "non-compliant"
    • Missed or unable to make their appointment
      • Avoid "no show"
    • Ask people what words they use such as pronouns, then use and respect them
      • Avoid labels, judgment, presumptions, and jargon
    • "I believe you" or "It's not your fault"
      • vs "That's so awful", "I can't believe it"; sometimes attempts at empathy come across as disbelief or pity
    • "What happened to you wasn't your fault"
      • vs "You don't have to do that anymore"
    • "What you're feeling is valid and you have the right to express your feelings."
      • vs "I feel sorry for you"
    • "You are not alone"
      • vs "You poor thing. Are you okay?"
    • "We will do everything we can to help keep you safe"
      • vs "You are safe now." Do not promise what you cannot deliver and remember that everyone's ideas of what feels safe is different.
    • "We want to help you and will do our best to meet your needs"
      • vs "We can fix this"
    • "Trust my actions, not my words" (follow through)
      • vs "Trust me" - survivors and those who have experienced trauma may have been lied to many times and trusting can be difficult; be transparent about expectations and your capacity
    • "How are you feeling?" or "What led you to do that?"
      • vs "What's wrong with you?" or "What did you do that for?" which imply fault and blame
    • "You can choose to do this" or "You might want to try that"
      • vs "You have to do this" or "You should do that" (You want to allow space for empowerment, voice, and choice)
    • "I hear you" or "I'm here to listen"
      • vs "I know how you feel" or "I understand what you went through"
    • "You experienced trauma" or "You're healing from trauma"
      • vs "You're a victim" or "You're a survivor" unless they choose the victim or survivor term themselves